THE GOAT LADY

This time of year I am constantly searching: searching for my glasses, notes I wrote on the back of an envelope, numbers I just knew I could remember and faces that drift in and out of my memory. I have to have my house in order, so to say, when the snow really starts to fly. I remind myself of a wild animal in that respect...always stocking in for the unexpected. The unexpected has never been to far away from me, yet in the very worst of times I have always been protected....I think this poem might describe why....

Learn to Recognize a Blessing While it's very difficult for mankind to understand GODS INTENTIONS AND HIS PURPOSE, and the WORKINGS OF HIS HAND. if we observe the miracles that happen every day, We cannot help but be convince that in HIS WONDROUS WAY GOD makes what seemed unbearable and painful and distressing Easily acceptable when we view it as a blessing...

by Helen Steiner Rice

Were it not for this obsession I have to clean and organize, this little, very important book, would have been forgotten in my over stuffed mind. THE GOAT LADY by Jane Bregoli. This is a quote

"Many years ago I became ill with arthritis," she said quietly. My bones ached so much that I could hardly walk. I had to quit my job. There was no medicine to help me, but the doctor suggested i try drinking goat's milk. So I bought my first goat and called her Girl. I could barely walk to the barn. My hands hurt so much when i tried to milk her that I cried. Girl turned around and licked the tears off my face because she knew I was suffering." the story is short but what a dedication to Noelie Lemire Houle, who was born in 1899 in Quebec, Canada

Noelie gave her extra goat kids to the Heifer Project International, a non profit organization. Since 1944 the Heifer Project has helped More than 5 million families in approximately 125 countries move toward self reliance through the gift of livestock and training. You can learn more about their work at www.heifer.org.

EVERYDAY IS SUCH A BLESSING TO ME.......THANK YOU...pokie

Hello Monday and a New Year

I have been around reading all the wonderful things that are being written by People with varying degrees of Parkinson's, just jumping from blog to blog and I am so proud and amazed at the work that is being produced in a days time. Jointly it mounts up to volumes of written word that so many are missing. Our hearts and souls are being poured out to the world and so many are missing the point. I am so taken back by the ability that is out there. I cannot explain the degree of humility I feel to even be known by some of these people. These are quiet souls in so much pain who continue to climb the mountain and survive. How lucky we are to have some one say that they are mentoring one of us to a higher goal. I am so honored to say that many have helped me in so many ways to climb some awesome hills let alone mountains. New blogs are being formed every minute and none must be ignored....In every story a thought is captured forever. The pleasure of my life continues to be the ability to type a word and have it come up on the screen in front of me and excite me. I fight so for a quiet moment just to type and those minutes seem so far apart lately. I know the holidays require a lot a this attention as does everyone around me. My mother is rapidly slipping away and will soon not know me....My family doctor of thirty or more years slipped from her memory this past week with not a second glance behind her. She tells me everyday how terrible it is to loose your memory......I hope it is only a temporary loss......and then when you get to heaven you can smile and get them all back again. She doesn't seem angry about this loss but it causes her to hang on closer to me and I am not the most steadying force these days....So often I wonder who is the caregiver in her mind. She still insisted on washing the dishes last night though I knew that after she went to bed I would go back in the kitchen and rewash them and put them away. She never saw what was left behind. I see what my mother is going through and know that my time will come soon. I try to not worry when she asks me what was that behind that house up the road? It's a huge red barn that has been visible out that basement window for thirty years are more and what is that little speck in the sky that she watches and it never goes away? My son told her it was a satellite and it might be the Russians monitoring our every movement when we got in the car. She seem to ponder that thought and store it away. When we left to go home. She ask Matt if we needed to let the Russians know we were headed home as he turned on his monitor and she watched it intently. She'll lay in by that window tonight and watch that star or satellite and I am sure the questions will all be there with no answers to follow.... While I was in Ohio visiting Dixie, I bought a tee shirt that says quietly "I think I can, I think I can" and then for Christmas my daughter in law gave me a tiny little glass train.....and on the card it said:

YES YOU CAN No matter what the task maybe be, How hard the course you face Believe that you have what it takes To run life's toughest race.

It's a New Year

As with every year , the week between Christmas and New Years leaves me cleaning and organizing as if a winter blast was going to leave me totally house bound for the next three months and all food and concerns must be stocked in to survive. This year surviving is different than all other years. My thoughts stray from socking in food to, "Do I have enough meds for me and mom for any week long spell? Is the gas tank for propane carrying enough fuel for bad times and is the wood carried to the back door to get dry for a fast burn in a cold snap."as I it sit here I realize the changes that have come to me in this past year and my thought is,"How much longer will I be walking? The pain is very predominate now.....not just in one spot but many and it puts an end to any thoughts of a good nights sleep. Every minute comes with a price tag and the cost is high. The meds are increasing and the steps are getting much shorter. The sadness in my families eyes shows up more and more as the bubbly person I use to be disappears into the unset. I have no mate to share these lonely times with yet God has presented me with a host of friends that monitor my every hour. Christmas was really kind of sad this year, as I gave up all responsibilities and sat and watched from the side lines knowing every bit of my strength was being pulled out of me and it would take days to recover. Even the little ones watched as My steps became more labored while my meds went to off. Shopping did not exist, nor did baking, nor did Christmas in every room. Cards got out but not all.....gifts got sent...but not all.....friends were called....but not all. Life was taken away from me ......but not all. For the gift of the time left behind I thank you Lord and promise to cherish each second and try to make everyone aware of your wishes for a cure......thank you and good night pokie

Our PLM Parkinson Unity Walk Team

There once was a small group of patients

A disease called Parkinson’s they did share.

We met on a web site in cyberspace,

while looking for some one to care.

We banded together as friends do

Ideas began to flow.

Now we are a team of many

All searching for a goal.

Once we were just over two hundred

And now are over three thousand strong.

We show up in so many places

in colors and varieties one and all.

We banded together with just a strong hug

And “pinky swore” did we.

Among the tall buildings and thousands that walked

That God was our leader to be.

We set up a team for the Unity Walk in April 2009

We had been four in the year before

wanting to return.

This year we will be over twenty and our passion

HOW IT BURNS!

Our emblem is two tulips

held together by a thread.

One stands up ever so straight

the other curves his head

Our colors are so precious to me.

They are yellow and bright, bright red

We come from states across this land

And some places across the sea.

We never miss a day or time

To share this Parkinson’s Disease.

pokie too 2008

MERRY CHRISTMAS

Just a very brief word today and it comes straight from my heart. I wish you love today in every way. I wish you happiness on all sides of you as you walk down YOUR path in life. Never forget the purpose of Christmas all year long and remember Christmas is the celebration of Christ's birthday. What gift will you give him this year? I will give him me in every form and I will try to thank him every day for all he has given me. Peace to all and have a very merry Christmas love always......pokie

Good Pennies from Heaven

When I first logged on to Patientslikeme.com their was a lady posting under the name Ukelady and it never crossed my mind that UK meant an instrument I though it meant living in the United Kingdom. In her profile picture she wore dark rim glasses and gave no hint of the very talented little old hippy that was dwelling within. She posted that she was going to be in the San Francisco Unity Walk and needed support. I read this and decided instantly that her and Btrflynana needed to meet so they could walk together and walk they did. Now the closest of friends and visiting all the time. In November I boarded a plan and flew to California to meet these two and what an amazing pair had formed. Marian would still put those glasses on but way down on her nose and look over them like a little kid who was getting caught at it. She's a tiny little thing with beautiful long hair and the things that go on in that brain. She refers to herself as a math geek.....She is actually a space engineer for Lockhead Martin. She does beautiful bead work and just recently designed the Tee Shirts and Hats for Team Patientslikeme . They are selling at cost on Cafe Press and are a work of art. Depicted on the shirt are two tulips. One is standing tall and the other is drooping, being held up by a thread(Internet thread). I just love it and hope she sell thousands......While I was in Californina, I had Marian sign a tee shirt I have traveled with all year and she did as Ukelady. This may be her last signature as Ukelady. Very soon after she changed her name to GoodPenny and it stuck.....I am so happy to see this little gal just grow into her potential. Marian has Parkinson's and is still going. Check out he blog...http://WalkingMyPathWithParkinsons.blogspot.com and please go to Cafe Press and check out the hats and shirts. I can guarantee you there is more to come...goodnight pokie

Heidi's Favorite Cookies

My daughter Heidi has always had a off sense for sugar.....Anything chocolate is good but not anything too sweet. I have this cookie recipe that has always put a smile on her face at Christmas time and have always been called"Heidi's Cookies" They are made with jello and so the plate could be filled with every color imaginable for little late night cookie people to relish. They are not overly sweet but you can add more sugar to your taste: 3/4 cup shortening 1/2 cup sugar 3 oz. package of jello 2 eggs 1 tsp. vanilla 2-1/2 cups flour 1 tsp. baking powder 1 tsp. salt cream together well and add flour. bake at 400 for 6 to 8 min depending on your oven. Do not over bake. I roll my dough in a little ball and smash that ball with a figured glass bottom, dipped in sugar.....make them small for little hands and tiny fingers...just one bite.....love pokie

Two Crazy Ladies

Two Crazy old Ladies

Ventured out on the road yesterday.

They traveled to Springfield

almost a hundred miles away.

They started at four in the morning

In cold rainy weather forbidding.

a chuckle here and there and even sometimes grinning.

Now what might you say was the reason for travel,

Gramma’s heart you see was trying to unravel

The doctors up there

In this fine big city

Had stitched her and mended

and made it all pretty.

At eight in the morning

no coffee had she

which makes gramma shakey

and to some wobbly.

But in her confusion

of the world as it is.

She told me this story of what they had did.

“They put me in an oven

All snuggled up tight.

I thought I might sleep

But thought that not right

And so I just laid there

All cozy and snug

Just trying to remember what it was I had done.

How had I got here

And what was I to do?

I guess I’ll just cat nap

And wait til they are through

For life’s not so bad

In the state that I’m in

The Lord’s standing beside me

And being my friend.

Just me in this oven all snuggly and warm.

Pokie Too 12/2008

Today With PokieToo and Parkinson's and Acute RA Disease: Today I Wish You a Day of Ordinary Miracles

Today With PokieToo and Parkinson's and Acute RA Disease: Today I Wish You a Day of Ordinary Miracles

Just Ramblings

I took a few days off to get energized again. I seem to need that more and more lately. So many really neat things are happening and it is truly unbelievable that just a year ago I entered this totally visable world I am in. When I recharge I get completely away from the computer and go to my son's and take care of my five month old grandson Ayden who I nick named "Little Jesus" It seems after holding him and him touching my face with those chubby little hands, the world has new dimension and meaning. This morning I was awake at 4am, sitting at the kitchen table writing something that was going through my head and heard him singing in the bedroom, all by himself in the dark. I quietly snuck in there to see what he was doing and there he was in his crib with the street light dancing merrily across the wall. As soon as he saw me he held out his arms for me to pick him up and we ventured into the living room where I had his bottle waiting and we snuggled down in the recliner with him pulling the bottle out every so often just to look up at me and make this little love sound. There is no way I will ever be able to explain what this does for my state of well being.....There are no words for that smile. This is what I was writing when he woke up: A "quiet moment" just entered through the garden gate He's standing in the corner so reaady to play,..... but waits He comes to visit sometimes as a messenger for a thought. Or he storms in like an angry child---Demanding and screaming for some slowness in my walk.. He's a very knowing friend I enjoy his company so. He knows me better than many do. Though sometimes our visits are few. I'll leave that garden gate open just so far today. To encourage him to come in and guide me on my way. For without his daily visit, I'll surely never win.... " Confussion" and " Just Plain Tired" They come to play instead, Which leaves me no time to contemplate the things I've really said. So as the day progresses and I play with all my friends, The evening comes quite quickly. My body needs to mend. So off to sleep I go with meds and phone in hand. Praying quidance in this journey, that never seems to end And thanking God this day for all my firends That came along to play ...... pokie 11/2008

Thank you Dear Jesus......

Thank you dear Jesus for this day I pray with the gifts of food and clothing and a place for my daily rest. Thank you for giving the year that has just past, so filled with good memories of friends that I have. Thank you for friendships that have formed on all sides. Thank you for my walking, no matter how crude, you stayed beside me and we got through.For sunshine and fresh air so crisp and so clean.I thank you sweet Jesus for this day I pray.So thankful and I am for the gift of new life. For Ayden, (Little Jesus) who was sent to show the way. His smile and his laughter and all his sweet ways, that calm us and remind us of the mission we have.On this day of Thanksgiving in this wonderful land, I thank you sweet Jesus for making me part of the plan. You gave me new projects to lead me from the pain. Each day has been a challenge a mountain to climb. When I think I can no longer respond, you gently remind me that my day has not come. A verse or a penny somewhere do I find and angels surround me and no longer do I wine. Sometimes I write poems and sometimes some verse but today I'll just leave this quite in the reverse.....so you can just ramble and pick as you will from my Thanksgiving thoughts for this Beautiful Day.

Monday Morning Ramblings

It seems ever apparent, as time moves us on, that so many things cause our world to take shape and be misshapen. This morning I sit here trying with all my might to get my left hand to cooperate and let me type. It curls and it freezes, all terms a "Parkie" might know. It's my left arm I do battle with and thank God for that, because you see I'm right handed and really that is the only really functional part of me left. Parkinson's is a funny disease and it likes to play around. Some day you would barely know something was so wrong and then there are days like today...I take them one and all and know that my Journey has all been Googled for me many centuries before. Some mornings I lay tossing and turning in bed until I finally get up and grab my coffee and off I go to the computer as of possessed. As I start to type all the pain goes away and the answers and some questions form for a new day. This morning this small poem came from nowhere so I copied it down and checked my email.

Tell me sweet Jesus, give me a clue. How do I be such a leader of few? Give me direction as I stumble along, trying to save and then moving on. Questions and Questions come from all sides and so few answers do I find. . So many needles in such huge haystacks, Tell me sweet Jesus, tell me please do Are the answers still out there? For the wanderings of so few. pokie 11/2008

So now on my second cup of coffee and well on my way...I'm ready to square off and face my new day. I can only hope that some of my tasks don't include running and jumping. For those are two things my body refuses to address no matter what shape I get up in. Well leave you with this rambling and wish you a good day on my Journey to 2009....

such special times

From October to April last year and this I posted on Patientslikeme.com hourly or daily, whichever came first, but in that span of time little did I know the friendships that were to be formed for me. I watched these ladies from a far and read everything they posted and admired them so. Following those days so many things came into play....the Unity Walk, Nicole had Dbs, and I found out what great poetry and writings Marian and Karen could produce. I met Marla at the Unity Walk as well as Tom and Dixie and the rest is history. We are watched from afar and I'm sure one would wonder at what an odd combination we make but our feelings run very deep and we are very protective of each other....A closer bond I have never felt with anyone and take that and multiply once again for each of them. I flew out to meet Nicole , Karen and Marian in October and each meeting was as before....as if we had always know each other. The coffee cup , above, was a symbol of such a playful time in our history. We use to hang out on Chatzy in the early morning and pretend we were in a coffee shop for morning coffee...hence "Coffee With Pokie". Karen sent us all a cup that to this day sits next to my computer. We would all get signed in and get our drinks and raise our cups in unison to start our day. I miss those days but I understand their passing. We were kids at play then. Skipping down the lane taking each day at a time and holding each others hand. Then all of a sudden Truth stepped into our little fun house and nothing has been the same except our undying love for each other. Karen's diagnoses of MSA and the sudden noticing of our friendships brought the world and all it's horrible things to that coffee shop and it slowly faded away. God says you should not put great stock in your possessions but that coffee cup could just as well have been made of gold. Inside it says"It's your Day"..... This morning I raise my cup once more to you girls...the members of the coffee club..Here's to you "It's Your Day"....love pokie

'TOGETHER IN STRENGTH, FORWARD IN HOPE"

It's a new day in the neighborhood and I sure hope our day is here to shine . Parkinsons Disease needs all the help we can get to find this cure and save my grandkids from this disease. My family has that dominate gene. My grandmother has Alzheimers on my Dads side as well as my grandfather on my mothers side. My grandfathers brother had Eplipsy and my dad had Myacinia Gravis. My mom now has Alzheimers and I have Parkinsons. We have four generations living now and you would think someone would want to study our family history with atleast blood work. Ah but alas, time moves on and no one appears to be interested. I leave Tuesday for the Parkinson's Clinic of the Ozarks in Springfield, Missouri for a full day of testing and hope to end the day with alot of answers. I have been making a list of questions not only for me but one of my friends, Karen, who seems to present alot like me.....so possibly she doesn't have MSA or I do? I am rapidly losing all faith in the medical community to diagnose us "Parkies" and effectively treat us. So much of our ground work has to be done by us and I worry when I can no longer research who will. Oh, well that is another time and another place and I try to stay in the present. God please bless Karen and I and all our friends and help us to remember "TOGETHER IN STRENGTH, FORWARD IN HOPE"

Celebrating Sunday Everyday

Parkinson's Disease has done some very unique things to my life, quite a few of which are awesome and these two are the most AWESOME ever. At a wedding reception this teenager from Hawaii held up two glasses and and a bottle of Wine toward a woman he was immediately drawn to....and i can just hear her saying who me though Al never probably stood a chance in the plan of things. I'm sure they fell in love before they ever met. That's the way soul mates do. And now so many years later, they still clown and play around each other as if no time has passed at all. They welcomed me into there home the 4th of October without knowing me except from the internet and talking to me on the phone and though they are in their fifties and and I am in my sixties, we played like a bunch of young school kids the whole time I was there. If I were to give anyone a gift for Christmas, I would give the gift of two friends so dear. They don't always agree but they always make up and they never hate. They laugh and keep each others lives on track while keeping everyone else's lives on the straight and narrow. Karen has the ability to mother without nagging and Al is standing in the background pulling it all together. So today I wish to embarrass Karen just a little, since she is about to be a grandma once again and the last week has been pretty rough, and say on God's Day I thank you for being my friend and when I read your blog on Myspace last night, I was so proud and I was moved to my core.www.myspace.com/btrflynana.....Read it I challenge you, you'll be moved

God Giveth and He Taketh Away

Gosh! this is just too funny . I just spent two hours telling the world how much pain I was in and really putting it out there so you would really know what it was to have Parkinson's Disease and then my funny friend, just took it away. that's right I finished and started proofing and it disappeared. So I will take that as a sign that God does not want me complaining so here's the other half of the story. The things that God has given me in the adversity of this disease. At one time I had to search high and low for twelve people to send a chain letter to and today maybe a 100 people grace my contacts book. I use to travel to town feeling so sorry for myself and now by the time I get to town the world is my apple and I'm ready to feast. I have a new support group and am traveling monthly to spend time with my dear friends. My mourning starts with people who sincerely care if I get out of bed or not and I care about them. Just today I have one friend, who her daughter is having a ninth birthday.(Faith Ann), One friend who may become a grandma today and is feeling very sick and may have to miss it. One friend who is riding high on passion and one friend who is preparing for a visit from me to help her celebrate her 77th birthday. Add to all that Christmas and Thanksgiving....I really don't spend much time on Parkinson's and I must say this, I have never been happier. One more thing, to my friend Nat. Thank you for your response to my email. You made the time from Oakland to Denver just fly! Your are an enchanting person and the way you ran past me yelling POKIE TOO< POKIE TOO at luggage claim and then disappeared was like a visit from an angel....thank you and I'll keep in touch...pokie

POKIE'S PENNIES

When I ventured out to California, this is what I found and loved on first sight. Three wonderful people who will for ever change my life. Al and Karen and Marian showed me more love than I have ever been shown in a life time. The smiles and hugs began instantly and I hope will never end. I am a Methodist by faith and have never had spiritual things happen to me like what happened on a daily habit. Karen and Al holding hands and playing like a couple of kids. Through it all they have never lost that special feeling of teenage love and all it entails. It was such a beautiful thing to watch and I loved it. There was Marian, quiet with a plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies and a little red box with her eyes cast down like a small child with a very special drawing for mom. "I made these for you," she said and tears came to her eyes and everyone else's. A beautiful, one of a kind, tulip necklace, just for me....I never took it off the rest of the trip. and then when I returned home she wrote the following poem and ask if she could post it on Patientslikeme.com and my answer was, "My dear, you need never ask my permission to print anything you write." and here it is:

POKIE'S PENNIES I have a friend , so strong and kind, Who has a compass of a mind. On her journey in this life, At times in joy, at times in strife, When there's a choice that must be made, Or she's in doubt or she's afraid, God sends a messenger so small, You might not notice it at all. Every time she turns around, She finds a penny on the ground, Or in a song, or on a shelf Or in a dream all by itself. She follows where the pennies lead, And finds that all is well indeed. This touchstone tells her of her mission, If she takes the time to listen. Why can't I have a helper too? Lord knows I need it, we all do. But wait; is that a sign I see? Is my friend my epiphany? Was she sent to light the way? I think she was, but who can say? With happy tears my eyesight blurs, Is she my penny, or am I hers?

Now has anything so beautiful ever been written? I think not!!!!! The funny looks on our faces was because I had decided to quit smiling because every time my mouth took up my whole face and yet I could not stop smiling long enough to get the picture taken...just shirr happiness. love ya pokie

Lasy Chance to Save

As I started to type this morning this ad popped up on the side of my computer and my crazy brain just took off running. A simple wheat penny has played such a huge part in my life in the past twenty years and a very long story could be written about those pennies and where they have turned up as a sign to me that God is always in control and to humble me to stoop and pick up that lowliest of coins and offer it back up to Him in recognition by saying, 'Thanks you, God, I hear you' No matter where I go or what kind of bad situation I am in I will always find a penny to lead me home to safety. God is always giving me one last chance to save.....someone. God's offering to me of this life style I am in, was so totally far fetched that even I was a Doubting Thomas, yet he always would bring me back to the fundamentals and show me just where I needed to be and when. This very may well be my last chance or anyone elses last chance to save and we need to get on with the program.....There are so many in need in this world today and it doesn't take a lot of money..just a kind word or a smile and someones day is made much better. Find the cheapest phone system you can get on and make it a point that people hear your voice and hear that you do indeed rejoice in life itself. We don't need a president to tell us that times are hard. People like you and me are getting poorer. Diseases are getting worse and medication is getting higher. Now you cannot even go to the hospital to get better because you can come out of the hospital with some thing worse than when you went in. Be careful and start taking care of yourself and your own. It will get worse before it gets better and we will all need each other just to get through. Our generation, the 50-60plus year olds, have only heard of the great depression and my teenage grandkids have no idea but as I watched the news last night the look on my moms face told the whole story. Her face was very sad and she said, 'Oh, Charlene do we have to go though that again?' Little does she know we are probably already there. Not to sound like I'm preaching, but could you take today and do something for someone who doesn't expect it? Could you pick up those pennies and save them for a rainy day? Could you step out of your comfort zone and listen to God and try something new? This could well be your last chance to save and make a difference....love pokie

Every Penny Goes For Research

Parkinson's Disease is a neuo-degenerative disease that affects more than one million Americans. We re not just in nursing homes pushed to the side in a wheel chair and left to sleep the day through. There are people in their late twenties and thirties that have this debilitating disease and more are showing up every year. It knows no boundries, be you young or old, rich or poor. You stand a chance to have Parkinson's Disease and though you do die not from Parkinson's you will die with it.... The first Parkinson's Walk was 14 years ago and with their 200 volunteers and made $16,000 for research. Last year there were over 10,000 people there and we collected 1.8 million dollars. God touched me that day in Oh, so many ways and I made friends for life, I found myself happier than I had been fo years. The smiles and tears just kept on coming and there was no project to extreme. So this is my challege to you. Visit the site www.unitywalk.org or info @unitywalk.org. Call them1-866-789-9255 Make a donation for me or my team Patientslikeme.

A Santuary in Our Mind

There are so many blessings bestowed upon us during our time on this earth. The birth of a baby; the glory or a bright yellow jonquil pushing up through newly fallen snow to welcome spring after a very hard winter; the sparkle of that snow as it falls to earth on a moon lit night when the air is crisp and clean. There are so many blessings sent our way everyday that no one takes heed of as we scurry from one place to another. Why have we let ourselves become too busy to worship the world around us? God gave us life and surrounded us with beauty that there are no words for and yet we take no heed. This must hurt his feelings so much. It would be like being Picasso and you were in the middle of a square, painting the most beautiful painting and no one noticed.. People passed by and bumped in to you and never noticed your masterpiece in the making. Everyday could be a masterpiece in the making. I know when you have Parkinson's Disease the pain and fatigue are ever blocking out the sun but..... it is there. Shut your eyes and visualize those blessings God has given us. Let those pictures that should flood your brain take the pain away. No matter how misshapen and pain filled we become, there is a sanctuary God has blessed us with where we can shut our eyes and be content in his glory. One of the biggest blessings God gives us is Friendships. They are such fragile little things when first started, a hug, a small smile, a kind word. Tiny little things that can mean so much in the cold and corrupt world of the internet. God brought so many beautiful people and minds together and did it so quietly no one realized a blessing was in the making. Little did I know when I stumbled into Patienslikeme.com that the blessings were there and the change in my life would be so drastic. The friendships formed there are like nothing I have ever known. We laugh til we cry and we talk about things we would never tell anyone else and genuinely feel better because of it. Could it be we have headed on a path that God does not like and he's stepping in to save us. Maybe he is trying to save us from ourselves before it's too late. I plan on checking out with a smile on my face. How about you? I plan to have made a difference. How about you? I know I have loved and been loved. How about you? Stop today and watch a wooly worm scurrying across the street or smell the rose by the driveway. Pick a hand full of dust up and let it sift through your hand in the wind. Turn your head toward the Heaven and thank God because your here and know he loves you so.......always pokie

Solid Gold

This has been a crazy one. Emails have been flying back and forth. The phone has rang all day. I've talked to people on all corners for the world. I am making list after list trying to keep my mind on the right track and make it produce as much as it possibly can. Mr. Pain has come back to visit in a big way and bless his heart he has brought a bunch of friends with him. Slight headache and mounting fatigue came along just to see what was going on.This crazy disease just never gives up. It seems no matter how much medicine you take it playes this game with you. You feel better, sometimes, for months at a time and then get up one morning and cannot move. My back has a severe ache in the lower part and minor aches all the way to my shoulders. My head feels like an over saturated sponge. The upper part of my arms and elbows are the worse for ware. It's no wonder statements are made to me like, "you know they shoot horses when they get like this?" and , "what next?" The best one's are , "I just give up." To all this I can only say "Nope Not Yet!" I refuse to give you this day. I will hold on to it as hard as I can and make it the best I can. While I have been trying to write this the hours have past and I wandered into my bedroom and turned on the heating blanket for relief. I slept or passed out for almost six hours, which is great for me. I fixed me a pot of coffee and started a new day of meds. The sun is not up yet but like all of us it is doing the best it can.....All I can say is that I am ever so thankful to be here in God's world and have never had a day without a blessing..... Some turn to drink, and others turn to medication but I turn to prayer and my friends at Patientslikeme.com and all the Parkinson's Foundations to keep me going. The support I receive on a daily bases is huge and not to be left out is my mom. Yesterday, two weeks after heart surgery, she did my dishes while I took a nap.....now who is taking care of who here? I can only say thank you Lord for my many blessings and I would like you to know every minute is worth a million and every laugh is solid gold.....

Laura's Chocolate

Since Coffee With Pokie is an ever growing thing and it is actually a figment of my imagination, I was so happy when along came Laura to send this lovely, decadent slide show of what else but chocolate. Little does Laura know that most "Parkies" have a thing about chocolate. Chocolate in any form is ok with us and what better way to have chocolate, enjoy. and not gain a pound. Thanks Laura

a Boy, a Man, and a Donkey

An old man, a boy and a donkey were going to town. The boy rode on the donkey and the old man walked. As they went along they passed some people who remarked it was a shame the old man Was walking and the boy was riding. The man and boy thought maybe the critics were right, So they changed positions. Then, later, they passed some people who remarked, 'What a shame, he makes that little boy walk." Soon they passed some more people who thought They were stupid to wal k when they had a Decent donkey to ride. So, they both rode the donkey. Now they passed some people Who shamed them by saying how awful to Put such a load on a poor donkey. The boy and the man figure they were probably right. So they decided to carry the donkey. As they crossed the bridge, They lost their grip on the animal and he fell into the river and drowned. THE MORAL OF THE STORY If you try to please everyone, You might as well KISS YOUR ASS GOODBYE! HAVE A NICE DAY AND BE CAREFUL WITH YOUR DONKEY

Thank you Harold and Donna for forwarding this to me.....I'll be sure to get in touch today..love pokie

A Thief in the night

I've just kind of been wandering around tonight looking for a place I felt like I belonged. I posted for a while on Patientslikeme.com. This use to be such a quiet retreat for me and now the threads are huge and very complicated.....I read and reread to be sure I understand before I say anything. Nothing like the close little group from earlier times. I would say that my mothers heart attack is just setting in. Last Thursday morning she started having mild heart attacks and now a week later, she has five stints in one artery and seems to be fine though a little weak. In one fatal swoop I became "The caregiver" and everything that goes along with it. I was just learning to fly and got my wings clipped. God gave me this new freedom and then took it away....or did he? Could it be he is making me work harder for a greater reward. I can always come up with an excuse to not do something I deem boring. Yet if I have a passion, nothing is too big. There are so many things that seem to need to be done and so little time to get them done. Winter is fast approaching and as I look back at how my life has changed in the past year, I can only wonder what lies ahead. I once was a proud farmer with my yard just neat as a pin. Every flower bloomed in it's own place and my garden was a sight to behold. I grew vegetables by the bushels and canned for everyone. I raised and tended an assortment of animals and loved it. I cared for many grandkids on a continual bases and the week was never long enough between their departure on Sunday and arrival on Thursday or Friday to get everything all picked up again yet I waited at the door with open arms for their arrival. Nothing was too heavy to lift or job to dirty to tackle......I worked like a man and tended my flock with no questions ask. I cannot look back at that life and not mourn it's passing. It was a good life, full and gratifying. I keep hearing my son saying, "I just want my old mom back." She no longer lives here and won't be back. It was a simple and beautiful life and it furnished me so many happy memories but tonight I realize just how much this disease called Parkinson's has robbed me. It snuck in during the night like a very unwanted quest and stole my most valued possessions and left me standing in the middle of a huge field turning in disbelief. How could it happen so fast and with no warning. Why was I not able to see it coming and stop it. These are modern times. This should not be happening. I should be able to pray and his is gone and I should know that it will never come again to any one in my family.....yet there is no cure for this disease....It has robbed me and and violated my space and will never be punished for it in my time. I will never have the gratification of saying, "It's gone and everything will go back to the way it was." So many things are just not possible anymore and it's so hard to find those happy, sunshine filled parts of my like to bask in. And then as I cannot feel any more pain at the passing of my life, I remember my friend Tom and that I had sent him a poem last night and from my favorite book that was laying right here beside me asking to be read once again........

THE PRIVILEDGE OF LIVING Thank God for the privilege of living, The privilege of breathing the air The privilege of being alive in the midst of such beauty everywhere! Thank the good Lord for his mercy In giving me eyes to see, A mind to learn, and a voice to speak And a faith in Eternity. Thank God for the privilege of living... For sharing His earth and His sky.... That a gift so rare as the gift of life Is given to such as I.

Lighten up.....

Well here I am and I am so glad to be back. I have so missed blogging and telling you my inner most thoughts. So hang on this may be a long session. As you may or may not know, I am on my way to Atlanta, Georgia Thursday for the National Young Onset Parkinson's Convention. THIS IS MAJOR FOR ME. First off I am going by myself. That's right me , 61 with Parkinson's am driving to Atlanta by myself.....I live in the country and decided not to use my own car. I had a rental all lined up and yesterday they called and had no car for me, it had broken down on the road. now that was close. Better them than me. I then called another place and they had one. Good thing I ask what it was.....A 1998 Bonneville...no thank you . My reply to the lady,"I have a 2000, why would I rent a 1998?" I finally found a new one that I could rent for a week about 40 min. away so I can pick it up tomorrow and pack.

I cannot just pick up and lock the doors and leave around here, there is the issue of my mom. She has early Alzheimers and does not need constant care but some supervision since we are on a farm pretty far out. I've been baking and getting her medications laid out so her daily routine would not be disrupted. All along praying the channel on the TV did not get changed or we have any other major mishap, The funny thing is, she is all excited too but not for me . She is so excited at the prospect of living in my house for a week. I ran around all day yesterday trying to get all things to fall neatly in order and at ten o'clock I was finally checking out at the grocery store when the clerk said,"miss don't forget your receipt for free gas." That perked me up until I looked at it. For $100.00 of groceries they generously gave me .12 cents worth of gas. Now Whooooo hoo.

Today some twelve hours later, I see that when that clerk handed me that receipt,it was God's way of saying, 'lighten up, I'm doing this for you , laugh and enjoy it."...........and I will. With that I decided to go home and go to bed and pray for better results today. Here is today and here I am playing and running away from my responsibilities.......with that thought I am signing off til tomorrow..........love ya Pokie

Pokie on a Soap Box

This time next week I will have map in hand and be ready to head out to Atlanta for the National Young Onset Parkinson Convention. I have become quite the traveling person lately. With new York City under my belt in April. Now I go to Atlanta for three days and then come home for a couple of weeks and then off again for California and Colorado and Wyoming. In September I'd like to be in Chicago for the Annual PD Therapeutics Conference . This leaves October to visit Cleveland and early November the east coast and Autumn with my very special friend Lady Hawk. There are many that believe that I have totally lost my mind and that is always a possibility. I'm not rich by any means when it comes to money yet when it comes to life I am a millionaire. I get a dream and save and plan until it happens and then go on to the next dream. The high I get on when I'm with friends is better than any medicine I could ever be on. I never hug one of my PD friends without crying. It's never planned but it happens and if we hug ten times we cry ten times. The oddest part is we never meet as strangers even though we have never met before in person. My children wait quietly in the background not understanding the force that forces me to do this crazy thing but you see the world has always taken Parkinson's Disease and pushed it and the people with it out of Society.....made us outcasts if you will. Laughed at our shakes and called us drunk when we stumbled and fell......my plan is not to let that happen any more. I have Parkinson's and I will be social and very much in the public be cause I want answers and I would like to have them now. If the government will not help find an answer through increased funding, then we must do it ourselves one on one. Cancer can do it so can Parkinson's Disease and through us MS and ALS will be stopped. The idea has always been stick us away in a nursing home and hope we die soon so as not to embarrass ourselves and others. That is not acceptable anymore. I'm sorry world . The baby boomer population would have not stood for this in the sixties and won't stand for it now. We have people 30 coming down with this disease. We send our youth to Irag to be maimed and then bring them home to come down with Parkinsons. Enough is enough for this mother and American citizen. I am waging my own war the only way I know how "One on One" I may not see a cure in my lifetime but it won't be because I didn't try......

Here is a great cake recipe....kind of fattening but what isn't. CRANBERRY COFFEE CAKE one regular yellow cake mix add one package frozzen cranberries pour batter in spring pan sprinkle with generous amounts of brown sugar bake until done in center at 350 degrees 35-40 minutes