Just Ramblings

I took a few days off to get energized again. I seem to need that more and more lately. So many really neat things are happening and it is truly unbelievable that just a year ago I entered this totally visable world I am in. When I recharge I get completely away from the computer and go to my son's and take care of my five month old grandson Ayden who I nick named "Little Jesus" It seems after holding him and him touching my face with those chubby little hands, the world has new dimension and meaning. This morning I was awake at 4am, sitting at the kitchen table writing something that was going through my head and heard him singing in the bedroom, all by himself in the dark. I quietly snuck in there to see what he was doing and there he was in his crib with the street light dancing merrily across the wall. As soon as he saw me he held out his arms for me to pick him up and we ventured into the living room where I had his bottle waiting and we snuggled down in the recliner with him pulling the bottle out every so often just to look up at me and make this little love sound. There is no way I will ever be able to explain what this does for my state of well being.....There are no words for that smile. This is what I was writing when he woke up: A "quiet moment" just entered through the garden gate He's standing in the corner so reaady to play,..... but waits He comes to visit sometimes as a messenger for a thought. Or he storms in like an angry child---Demanding and screaming for some slowness in my walk.. He's a very knowing friend I enjoy his company so. He knows me better than many do. Though sometimes our visits are few. I'll leave that garden gate open just so far today. To encourage him to come in and guide me on my way. For without his daily visit, I'll surely never win.... " Confussion" and " Just Plain Tired" They come to play instead, Which leaves me no time to contemplate the things I've really said. So as the day progresses and I play with all my friends, The evening comes quite quickly. My body needs to mend. So off to sleep I go with meds and phone in hand. Praying quidance in this journey, that never seems to end And thanking God this day for all my firends That came along to play ...... pokie 11/2008

Monday Morning Ramblings

It seems ever apparent, as time moves us on, that so many things cause our world to take shape and be misshapen. This morning I sit here trying with all my might to get my left hand to cooperate and let me type. It curls and it freezes, all terms a "Parkie" might know. It's my left arm I do battle with and thank God for that, because you see I'm right handed and really that is the only really functional part of me left. Parkinson's is a funny disease and it likes to play around. Some day you would barely know something was so wrong and then there are days like today...I take them one and all and know that my Journey has all been Googled for me many centuries before. Some mornings I lay tossing and turning in bed until I finally get up and grab my coffee and off I go to the computer as of possessed. As I start to type all the pain goes away and the answers and some questions form for a new day. This morning this small poem came from nowhere so I copied it down and checked my email.

Tell me sweet Jesus, give me a clue. How do I be such a leader of few? Give me direction as I stumble along, trying to save and then moving on. Questions and Questions come from all sides and so few answers do I find. . So many needles in such huge haystacks, Tell me sweet Jesus, tell me please do Are the answers still out there? For the wanderings of so few. pokie 11/2008

So now on my second cup of coffee and well on my way...I'm ready to square off and face my new day. I can only hope that some of my tasks don't include running and jumping. For those are two things my body refuses to address no matter what shape I get up in. Well leave you with this rambling and wish you a good day on my Journey to 2009....

POKIE'S PENNIES

When I ventured out to California, this is what I found and loved on first sight. Three wonderful people who will for ever change my life. Al and Karen and Marian showed me more love than I have ever been shown in a life time. The smiles and hugs began instantly and I hope will never end. I am a Methodist by faith and have never had spiritual things happen to me like what happened on a daily habit. Karen and Al holding hands and playing like a couple of kids. Through it all they have never lost that special feeling of teenage love and all it entails. It was such a beautiful thing to watch and I loved it. There was Marian, quiet with a plate of homemade chocolate chip cookies and a little red box with her eyes cast down like a small child with a very special drawing for mom. "I made these for you," she said and tears came to her eyes and everyone else's. A beautiful, one of a kind, tulip necklace, just for me....I never took it off the rest of the trip. and then when I returned home she wrote the following poem and ask if she could post it on Patientslikeme.com and my answer was, "My dear, you need never ask my permission to print anything you write." and here it is:

POKIE'S PENNIES I have a friend , so strong and kind, Who has a compass of a mind. On her journey in this life, At times in joy, at times in strife, When there's a choice that must be made, Or she's in doubt or she's afraid, God sends a messenger so small, You might not notice it at all. Every time she turns around, She finds a penny on the ground, Or in a song, or on a shelf Or in a dream all by itself. She follows where the pennies lead, And finds that all is well indeed. This touchstone tells her of her mission, If she takes the time to listen. Why can't I have a helper too? Lord knows I need it, we all do. But wait; is that a sign I see? Is my friend my epiphany? Was she sent to light the way? I think she was, but who can say? With happy tears my eyesight blurs, Is she my penny, or am I hers?

Now has anything so beautiful ever been written? I think not!!!!! The funny looks on our faces was because I had decided to quit smiling because every time my mouth took up my whole face and yet I could not stop smiling long enough to get the picture taken...just shirr happiness. love ya pokie