2012

I'm taking no risks this year when I usher in 2012. I'm crossing all the T's and dotting all the I's. The world is in bad enough shape without me forgetting something like black eyed peas New Year's Day and salt over the shoulder. If I had a "Blarney Stone", I would kiss it. Hopefully, by this time next year, I will be a lot lighter and have gained more movement and less pain in my arms.I have been told that if I can't see it I can't achieve it. I can both see AND taste it. Somewhere there has to be a way to stop the progression of this disease.....with every taste of success, it takes something new away. It's rather like a spoiled little kid at play saying, "If you don't play my way I will go home." I would love to say to the bully, "Go on home, I don't like you anyway." but I just would view that as giving up and something deep inside me will not let me do that. Sometimes I feel a rush of total fear when I step off a curb and my ankles pop or feel stiff. I almost scream this prayer..."Please Lord not them,too"..After both knees and one hip and now the shoulders....I am I am running out of doctors who believe I will recover. The eye opener this year was when a surgeon told me he just wouldn't try it because he didn't believe he could increase my range of movement that much...Does he not realize that anything is better than nothing? I watched a lady on Dr.Oz say she would like to die because she could no longer lift her arms and she was in a wheelchair. Well my surgery is the last of March and I BELIEVE even though the thought of recovery time makes me sick at my stomach. I look at it this way, though. If God hadn't wanted me to try it, He would not have presented it to me.....This has turned into something far more serious than I wanted. I KNOW that 2012 will be an eye opener and a cure will be closer than ever before. Years ago there was no such thing as a reverse cup shoulder replacement. Now that is the thing for PD patients...so off I go to "meet the wizard, the wonderful wizard of OZ" Have a wonderful New Year and may you be ever so blessed in many ways and please don't forget to give thanks to your creator...love ya....Pokie

A SPECIAL SUNDAY

Now, I know, full well, that one of the first questions they ask Parkinson's patients is, "Do you see or hear things that other people don't see or hear?".....but, let me tell you my 9:00am Sunday experience on the way to church. I had been up since 6:00am getting ready for a very special Christmas service at 10:00am and decided to go on into town(6 miles)to get a special coffee for a special day from Mickey D's. I got in line and checked my billfold and it WAS empty. So I decided I had plenty of time I would go back home and find my money. I am going back through town, when I notice flashing lights in my rear view mirror. GREAT....my day is not going well and I am just trying to get to church for Christmas services. I start to pull over and realize a motorcycle.....a BRIGHT yellow motorcycle with s Santa in full dress, hat and all aboard. This was not funny enough. Around here at Halloween you see witches that look like they were looking in the other direction and flew into a telephone pole. Well this was an elf and his misfortune was the back of this motorcycle.....(GOOD MEDS,HUH?) Well, for almost 6 miles I flashed my lights at on coming vehicles as he followed. We parted ways at my road and I honked goodbye. When I got home, I could not find my money so I decided I should try to make church anyway so all would not be lost. As I am driving back I glance at my purse and my billfold is sticking out so I take a second look ......$30 dollars was sitting where (I SWEAR) nothing was before. I made it to church on time as usual and the service was very moving and serious.......though I had this feeling that God was once again having quite the chuckle at me.....Merry Christmas and love to all....Pokie

Nothing Important

Sometimes it takes a lot to slow down a mule. At six o'clock I took a half a Xanex and thought sleep would come soon. Eleven and I am still going so I took the other half, and here I am. I hate it when I get like this. I've been to church today and cooked a roast; stopped by to visit with my oldest daughter and took a nap; wrote a poem, read and prayed. I would love to just get in my car and drive but no place, really to go . I would say this is a form of depression or what we use to call "The Hebby-geebies" Usually insecurities start this and it is a fast down hill road. Surely this will end soon when I just pass out. Christmas falls on a weekend this year and SS and pension all come that week too.....I bet the stores will be crazy.....they are about that way now. Well enough of this..............I'm going to try it again. Wish me luck.....Pokie

Take Five With Your Maker

Never take a day for granted!  They were meant to be enjoyed.  God gave them to us as gifts and no matter our circumstances, something will happen in that 24 hours that gets your attention and spurs you on.  The smallest of things are blessings and it takes many small things to get us ready for a big thing.  Twenty three days until the day the western world celebrates his birthday.  But whether you celebrate Christmas or Hanukkah or any other celebration of His life....don't wait until once a year rolls around....do it daily!  Just like having a caramel mocha coffee at "Mickey D's", take five with your maker.  Just as you need to feel appreciated daily, so does he.  This is what my friends call "Pokie on a Soapbox" and while on that box I am proclaiming this and everyday a gift from My Maker.  Take a deep breath, slow up and look to the heavens and say.......Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday, Jesus......Thank you
Lord...............
This is my prayer for today:   Dear Lord, help me to feed my many hungers and heal my right brain.....THANK YOU, THANK YOU,THANK YOU.  Amen

New Roads With Old Friends

 One of my friends had ankle surgery today in Colorado.  I have thought about her all day.  Knowing she was tough, I knew God would guide her to a good end.  He did and she is at home, ahead of a snow storm and quite happy (so far)  with all she came in contact with.  She has already had DBS surgery and had some real scary times for awhile. I am wondering, in all this, if doctors in general realize just how tough you have to be to have PD.  You as a patient face constant rejection from people who don't understand you and don't want to take the time to understand.  No wonder we find so much backing on the Internet in friends with the same problems.  You soon learn you are the only one you can depend on and on some days, you are "iffy" too. I now understand why God says everything comes full circle in life.  I use to appreciate color but nothing like now .....yellows glow. as does sunshine....A kiss is never in passing, it's with passion as if were your last ......teddy bears are to sleep with again.....and fuzzy blankets really get softer and softer...No glance from someone goes unnoticed.  And any loud noise is confusing and disturbing  when as an "old hippy" many hours were spent in very loud musical events. I have wasted so much time yet have accomplished so much .  One of my prouder accomplishments is my family which I raised on my own and never thought another thing about it.  Now I see how many things I thought were so important didn't mean a thing and a lot of the very important things I didn't see until much later.

  Now I must muster all my strength and beliefs and start again.  I feel God is asking more of me than I know or will know for sometime.  I must just proceed in blind faith and listen to what he says...INTENTLY.....We are never to old to travel a new road with old fiends ...Wish me well in my new adventures as you will see even more of me than before....but maybe a little wiser and faster..love ya pokie