Tonight I am going to take you to a place only people very close to me ever see.....the inner workings of my brain. One doctor I saw a couple of years ago referred to it as a, neurological mess." Needless to say, I never went back to him again. Someone else that I love a lot once said, "honey now that is a scary place, your brain....but then you have always been differently special!" There is a child in my brain who is at play constantly. Some have referred to her as a very breakable china doll. True my feelings get hurt easily and mend slowly, but one must remember that this child sees the world from a totally different perspective. These mind problems are not always positive and do not always turn out well. I have found myself entirely too trusting and often really not rational. Impulsive, yes and very bull headed....One of the nicer things is that the older I get the wiser I get or at least I believe I am. Do you ever wonder if you may be your very smartest just before you enter heaven?
When I was three or four I use to search in our woods for "fairy trees"(Trees with knots in the trucks at ground level). I named these "fairy trees" and would spend all day making the fairies furniture out of sticks and weed and leaves so their houses would be nice when they returned. In doing this, I saw every leaf and it's texture and color. Tiny twigs became bed posts and flower stems and flowers became the covers and bindings. To this day I can spot a "fairy tree" from quite some distance and the colors of Fall make it my favorite season. I spent a lot of time by myself when I was young and a considerable part of that was in a fantastic land of make believe, on my back on the ground watching the leaves twist and turn as they fell to the ground.
My troubling thought is that no one takes time to dream anymore or pretend. I have tried to pass this on to my grand kids and they prefer computers and cell phones. How do you set goals for yourself and listen to what God is trying to tell you if you cannot be quiet long enough to hear? There are some things that are very high on my list. Rain on a tin roof....wind through prairie grass, the smell of new hay and the morning cackling of a hen when she is laying. My goats use to stay right with me all day, as did my dog and when they thought I had worked enough they would convince me to sit for a while, and they would love on me. Right now the goat and the dog are both gone but have been replaced by someone who sure knows how to take me on long rides and hold my shaky hand and my world is ok. love you always, pokie
