TIME

Could it be that my brain has forgotten how to rest? Only when I try to rest do I have tremors and shakes....In the old days did they have shakes? Were they worse in the span of time between lying down and sleep? And, what about when you do sleep? Does your brain wait for you to rest so it can throw in weird dreams to wake you up? Do you lie there and refuse to open your eyes.....thinking you might go back to sleep, but soon realize your up for the rest of the night or early morning. Do we get going so fast in life that we cannot slow down to rest, dream, talk to God or listen to what he has to say to us? Why are we doing this to ourselves? I have always "hit the floor running" in an attempt to feed and cloth three kids as a single mom, for what seems like all of my adult life. Now retired, and the brain gives out. Sometimes, in physical therapy, I just have to say, "My brain just doesn't know how to do that.".....I now spend hours trying to reprogram myself to bounce a ball from one hand to the next....remember the punch line to a joke....or the whole joke! I have never been an athlete but, bouncing a ball I could handle.....I stop myself and say,"Don't limp and stand up straight." AND the miracle is I can......I CAN. What are the researchers missing? I know I am a bundle of questions tonight, BUT I now rely totally on Ivyprophen for pain, warafin to thin my blood, fish oil, B12 capsules and prozac......that's it from 42 pills a day to two prescription drugs...these are some things sent to me today by email...they made sense: STOP TRYING TO FIT IN WHEN YOU WERE MEANT TO STAND OUT! WHEN ONE PERSON DREAMS ALONE, IT'S JUST A DREAM...WHEN MANY DREAM TOGETHER IT IS THE BEGINNING OF A NEW REALITY! IF YOU HAVE ENEMIES IT MAY JUST MEAN YOU STOOD UP FOR SOMETHING SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY. This one I worry about.......YOUR SOLE PURPOSE IN LIFE MIGHT JUST BE TO SERVE AS A WARNING TO OTHERS!..... A TRULY HAPPY PERSON ENJOYS THE SCENERY ON THE DETOUR.........me, I enjoy ANY scenery!(or for that matter detours are ok too) and last but not least............SOME MISTAKES ARE TOO MUCH FUN TO MAKE ONLY ONCE! Well obviously, my unprogrammed brain is scrambled like eggs tonight ...so I will wish you peace and contentment and GOOD DREAMS! LOVE YA POKIE P.S. If someone whom I love alot, is caught reading this and realizes I have once again used SPAN instead of SPAND....Goggle told me to do it...goodnight

Life in the Fourth Quarter

I wanted to write here today instead of "Today With Pokie". If the truth were to be known, "Coffee With Pokie" has always been my play area and so many always go to the other blog. At one time I wrote three blogs a day. This kept me sitting still far too long for Parkinson's and I got much worse. I have cut my writing, something I love, way back. I walk everyday and, because of my joint pain, need all the exercise I can possibly do to stay out of a wheel chair. So today I will be playing and celebrating the fact that my God loves me as I do him.... Not to long ago I was traveling home and started out in a severe rain storm....After a while, the storm passed and behind it came the most beautiful sunset. The western sky was every color imaginable which was enhance by black splotches which were the clouds left over from the storm. I could hardly drive for looking at this amazing show God was putting on for me. I had Willie Nelson on my stereo with "I'd have to be crazy" and reached to turn it up when to the right I noticed a huge rainbow which ended up right over where I was headed...HOME. I just pulled over in the middle of nowhere and cried while I prayed...The whole picture was put together for me. I must have sat there an hour and still have the pictures in my head...no camera that day. How can anyone look at something so awesome and not believe in God? I will never know. Last night I played for hours on the computer......not games but lyrics. Most don't know that I use to sing and play the guitar in my hometown while in college. That was in The Peter, Paul and Mary days and I was a true hippy. I drifted away from that when I started having kids and then all of a sudden I could not remember the lyrics. No matter how many times I tried , they just did not stick in my brain. Now almost fifty years later, I am trying to learn to play again and I look up the lyrics and hand copy them down......singing the song as I write......Good exercise for the brain and fingers. Last nights adventure was Judy Collins and 'Bows and flows of Angel hair...Ice cream castles in the air....and feathered Canyons Everywhere....I'd look at clouds that way....AND..... Willie Nelson "I come to the Garden Alone"......and he walks with me and he talks with me and he tells me I am his own...and the joy we share as we tarry there.....no other has ever known. I am indeed blessed. Lately my Facebook friends are in to quotes and signs. Both have always fascinated me. This one caught my eye yesterday..."Never ignore a person who loves you, and misses you because one day, you might wake up from your sleep and realize you lost the moon while counting stars" Neat ,huh? I use to buzz through life with three or four things going at one time, always. Now in my more "POKIE" state the colors or my vibrant. The smells are sweeter. The hugs stronger. The kisses have more passion and I love life so much more. If there were one thing I could do today for those I love, it would be slow them down...help them enjoy......life is so short, especially in the fourth quarter. God continue to bless you and you continue to give thanks...love always, Pokie

Let The Game Begin

"Send me in Coach, I'm ready to play....November 19th I entered Barnes Jewish Hospital in St Louis, Missouri for a total right hip replacement. I had weighed this in my mind since 2006 when I had my second hip replaced and was diagnosed with Parkinson's after a very slow recovery and many malfunctions, but as the pain increased weekly and my quality of life dropped to zero, I went for it. I cannot put all the decision in my hands though. In late July I was working on my bucket list so I could check out in style, feeling God would surely only put me through this, at most two more years. Nope, along came a friend who PUSHED me to fix myself as best I could...Exercise and don't give up because there are a lot of people who still love you......including your Lord and it's time to accept the next challenge. As I said that day I was in surgery by 8:00AM and out by 11:00AM and home by 6:00PM the next day with very little pain and have walked since...much to my amazement. Thanksgiving was just unbelievable this year......to say the least. My doctors and nurses were great as were all the people praying for my recovery and my friend and family by my heart and side always and then My Lord,who made fear something not considered and strength and faith, the strongest ever. I am sure I am once again on another mission. Look out chronic diseases with never ending pain, I am being put back in the game so LET THE GAMES BEGIN. love Pokie

I Hope You Dance

I have been so incredibly blessed all of my life. Even in extreme hard times God has always made sure I knew I was loved and that everything was for a reason...just believe. It seems when I settle into a routine as I have with Parkinson's then he brings something else along to stir the pot again. A new friend or old friend, an idea that won't go away no matter how silly it seems and then there's my wheels. Not chair wheels, car wheels. since at least March or more I have been without a car and trying to get to doctor appointments for me and my mom and keep the household going. I did well until the last month and things begin to pile up. Missed appointments because I had no one to take me and I just wanted out...Out for a drive, out to be by myself....just OUT. Well today I did it. My car is here and I am ever so proud. The dealership has been very special through all this. I knew just what I wanted and they would get it and it would be gone or it just was a little not right. Well she is here. A beautiful pewter color with all the bells and whistles and I am "On The Road Again" It would have been so easy for me to give up this time. The pain is severe again and my walking is not as good as it could be but, nope, I figure I have another dance in me. If you are someone reading this who feels they have come to the end of their rope and there just is nothing else exciting that could possibly venture into your life....your wrong. When you least expect it, a change will be offered to you.....a chance to dance and I hope you do.....love Pokie

Two Mustard Containers

I woke up this morning, as it always happens, with the weirdest things running through my head. This happens because I suffer from Nocturnal Seizures so they say and my brain stays quite active though I think I am sleeping. Yesterday my family treated me to lunch with all the trimmings on "our back forty"by our lake. My contribution was mustard and catchup. Nice Huh? One of the nicer things about Mother's Day. But anyway, this morning I had two what appeared to be empty mustard containers on my kitchen counter. I started to throw them away and then got this wild idea to cut them in half and see just how much mustard was left inside. I know I'm loosing it, but there was enough in one to fill the other half full...really and I would have thrown them away. Not that I was that concerned about the catchup or me starving, but something about the whole process bothered me. What if we always just operated at half our capacity or finished when we were half done....How about if we only tried half hard to do anything and and then gave up and chucked it...Is that where the world is headed? What happen to the satisfaction of knowing that you completed a job and did it well and went to bed bone tired but satisfied.....All this is coming from my two now one mustard bottle from Mother's Day. Is it safe for me to venture on into my seventies, or will I be tormented by questions of evolution and space science? Losing brain cells in one place must be causing overload or confusion in other places. Well there are surveys to be taken and other things to FINISH and I am sure the since of accomplishment is just around the corner, so with that I sign off for a glass of milk and a cookie...love ya Pokie