connections

It's 12:15 and I should be fast asleep and dreaming of someone I hold so dear but, here I am seeking companionship in my computer. What do people do who have no connection to the world and have these horrible diseases? My pain level is around nine tonight and with every movement comes a sound from far inside me. It's the same sound tennis players make when they hit the ball. My sound gains me no point and sometimes never even moves me. My decision is what pill do I take to gain me a peaceful co existence with the world.....Is it Zanex to sleep or hydrocodone to mask the pain. Then there is always the chance that my seizure medication could bring me some relief. When you have a chronic illness the medical world supplies you with an endless group of narcotics which might "help get you through the night" But then you have me who would rather not take medication in any form and will quite often put off medicating some thing until the pain is so intense that it takes forever for relief. I can only voice my opinion on the whole medical world as I see it today....Pray for us because we are in big trouble. My big hope was in the stem cell research fjeld. Just when it was obvious we were making huge break thoughts, a federal judge bans all future research. How can they do this when you can place a stem cell quantity in a patient and the cells grow and function....This means quadriplegic can have sensation in their limbs after many years of vegetation. Medication is being shared b cause of the cost. People are going into the hospital with one disease and never coming out because while in there they get a foreign virus and it kills them. Where does this all stop? Maybe only the heavens know........ Love Pokie